If you’re anything like myself, your pets were your first children. Let’s be honest they still are but with baby on the way how do we have time for it all? Those precious tail wags and unconditional love are truly one of a kind. I can honestly say the joy of being a dog owner, especially at times of social isolation, greatly increased my mental wellbeing. Being neurodivergent and needing my time alone to recharge never felt lonely with my four legged companions. I wasn’t prepared for the sensory overload of pregnancy and the demanding nesting syndrome that would make me question if I could live with my dogs for another day yet alone years. Feeling nauseated by the new found smell of pets while pregnant was absolutely exhausting. If you’re pregnant and reading this, you are not a monster for hating your pets. This is sensory overload and hormone dumping from growing your unborn child. Bringing home baby to what felt like a dog kennel to my overstimulated brain was an absolute nightmare initially. It has been an emotional rollercoaster switching gears from a full-time dog momma to bringing my beautiful daughter home from the hospital. As wonderful as our pets can be, they come with the maintenance of hair, barking and the not so lovable house accidents.
If you’re in the same situation, whether bringing home baby in 9 months or just got home and aren’t sure how you are going to manage caring for everyone, finding healthy boundaries with your furry companions can make or break your sanity. Just know that you are not alone and asking for support from your partner or family is crucial during this time. In this article I’m going to talk about tips that helped me along the way maintain my relationship with my pets as well as tools to keep them and baby safe at home. If rehoming a pet is what you need to do to prioritize your mental wellbeing then self compassion is so important. Being the best parent to your child and having an environment you can thrive in is what matters most.
Pregnancy and Finding a New Way to Coexist.
Having animals that share your space is such a joy until your body tells you it’s too much. I faced periods of time where I couldn’t even eat at home because of the smell. Pregnancy itself does some pretty crazy things to our appetite but this seemed so bizarre for me. I wasn’t even able to cook for myself without wanting to be sick. I found it helpful to have my partner prepare food for me and eat in a separate area from the dogs. If you’re in a financial pinch like I was while pregnant, eating out every meal isn’t necessarily an option. There would be days I would eat out and have one large meal so I didn’t have to eat again at home. Let’s be clear this is not medical advice and obviously talk to your doctor about any symptoms you are experiencing or treatment if needed. I ended up needing to receive treatment for my intense nausea and stomach upset. There was still a challenge that came from the smell of the pets ruining my appetite and making my home feel like a prison. I also found it helpful to have prepared or frozen meals from the grocery store that I could heat and avoid the extra time of cooking and smells preparing a meal.
If you’re struggling with appetite or morning sickness it is so important for you to get help from your provider for yourself and your growing baby. I tried natural solutions initially however I required medication in the end due to my own health experience. All women have a different experience and preference for their pregnancy. I remember it feeling difficult for me at times to admit to still being sick and needing something else from my doctor. This goes back to my own anxiety and social difficulties at times. Something I had to move through to stay safe and healthy in my pregnancy. If you face challenges with this too, I’ll be writing more about navigating anxiety experiences in a medical setting in another article.
It became apparent that something needed to change in our living environment and I did not want to rehome my pets. It came to mind a few times when I was feeling burnout from a challenging pregnancy and needed relief.Before pregnancy my doggies layed next to me on the couch and got bites of whatever meal I had prepared. I know I know, let’s be clear that I am a push over dog mom. Again, they are my children and companions, I thought I was benefiting all of us showing so much affection. I learned the hard way we all needed better boundaries. Yes I said it, boundaries with the dogs. With the help of my partner I realized the dogs needed their own space in our home. There were to be no more movie marathon snuggles up next to the pups while my partner and I shared a bowl of popcorn. This was an emotional decision for me and took a period of transition. Everyone’s home situation is unique. We found that giving up some of our living space to provide the dogs an area to dwell was going to be our saving grace. For reference we live in a two story townhouse.
With the help of my partner we decided to section off a part of the house using pet gates. We started by setting rules about the dogs going upstairs where we sleep. I needed a place to go that didn’t require extra cleaning and pet maintenance. This might be something you’re already doing for your family and if that’s so you know how beneficial it is for controlling the environment with your pets. You can find different products that attach to doorways (pet or baby gates) or you can create a whole fenced in area without any drilling or attachments. Down the road we decided to install a gate to both sides of our kitchen island.
Our dining space was now the dogs living area. This was our way to allow them to be close to us but controlling the debris all through the downstairs living area. This choice took sacrifice of a dining space but was well worth the structure I was needing in my environment. I felt like my space was organized and comfortable with a manageable cleaning load. My neurodivergence demands organization while also struggling to keep up with tasks. If you face the same challenges then finding a manageable routine can be a game changer. There was definitely a transition period for us and our pets. I personally am a hypersensitive human being so I experienced guilt for a period of time. Looking back now it was so helpful to make the transition before baby arrived home. Although they missed our couch and let us know with those all to familiar howls, our dogs settled into their new space after a period of time.
Depending on where you are in your pregnancy, the nesting syndrome and desire for a clean environment may be occupying much of your time. With pets, I found a morning routine of cleaning the floors helpful. It also had a positive impact on my mental health having a clean environment throughout the day. Tiding up throughout the day helped me keep up with chores and not feel so overwhelmed each morning. You may thrive better in the evening so finding the time of day that works better for you can help with keeping up on tasks. Before pregnancy, having a clean home was already important. When I began nesting it felt like my brain was in hyperdrive constantly organizing. I felt relaxed and a sense of relief from taking care of my home. It’s not easy when you’re feeling exhausted from pregnancy or sick throughout the day. As you may know personally, morning sickness comes at all times of the day. Asking for help and following a manageable daily cleaning routine helped me in the long run. I had to come to a place of acceptance that the environment could not be perfect at all times. This is something I personally struggle with but mindfulness and compassion to everyone living at home is crucial.
Now that my pets were contained in their own environment I did feel a sense of control with the cleanliness at home. As I mentioned earlier, the smell was a challenge and did not go away by installing a gate. We use a diffuser in our home with essential oils to help with the smell. I noticed for myself a certain smell would be okay one week and nauseating the next. I am so appreciative to my partner for his flexibility in our need for changes so that I could be comfortable in my pregnancy. There are still smells now that unfortunately trigger the nausea again because of my experience in pregnancy. Be aware that your favorite scent of cleaning products may change.
Introducing Baby to Your Dogs
I experienced some anxiety about how the dogs would handle meeting my baby for the first time. My partner brought home a swaddle from the hospital so that the dogs could be introduced to her scent before we brought her in the house.
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I hope this article was helpful for you whether you’re a pet parent or first time mom! Bringing home baby is a big life transition for everyone. I am grateful for all my friends and family who helped me along the way.